I twirl and smile and laugh. My cheeks are a rosy red, heated from adreniline. He watches me and smiles at my blissfulness. He takes my hand and spins me back into his arms, holding me tight. We stop dancing all together and just stand there, locked in an embrace, looking into each other's eyes. There are identical looks of ppure happiness and love in both our faces.
And then I wake up.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Family
"Lie, An! Come on!" Jude called as he walked to sit down on the floor with his back leaning on the couch near his mother, who was curled up with her legs under her and leaning on her husband's arm. "Dad is gunna start it!"
"Coming!" The girls answered, pounding down the steps into the living room to join the rest of the family. Lila, who was the older of the two girls, sat down on the other side of Jude curling up like her mother and leaning against the arm of the couch. Annabel settled down near Nathaniel, the brother closest to her age, on the love seat.
"Everyone ready?" Their mother's gently voice questioned. The was a murmur through the family of yeses and yeahs. "Alright, Sweetie?"
The father nodded and pressed play. A movie began to play and the family watched. They always had their movie nights, every Friday. The four of the kids loved these nights. Even though the oldest, Jude, was almost 18 he kept every Friday night free. Lila had at first dreaded giving up her Friday nights for her family, exspecially since she'd gotten her car. After missing a few movies, however, she missed them and stayed home. Nathaniel and Annabel loved these times together as well. By being the youngest and only a year apart, they were really close. They kept each other occupied while Jude and Lila were out and their homework was all done.
When the movie was done, they all retired to their rooms.
"Lie, keep it down!" Jude called down the hall, annoyed at his sister's loud laughing from something her boyfriend had just said over the phone.
"I'm not even loud!" She answered him, annoyance layering her voice.
Annabel look out her door and across the hall into Nathanial's room and caught his eye. They both smiled and rolled their eyes at the squabling of their siblings.
Soon, everything quieted down. Lights were out and a light snore could be heard coming from somewhere in the house.
Annabel rose slowly from her bed and tiptoed down the hall and down the stairs. As silent as a whisper, she reached the computer and turned it on. Once it was booted up, she logged on her AIM. She smiled to herself when she saw that his screenname was on.
"Coming!" The girls answered, pounding down the steps into the living room to join the rest of the family. Lila, who was the older of the two girls, sat down on the other side of Jude curling up like her mother and leaning against the arm of the couch. Annabel settled down near Nathaniel, the brother closest to her age, on the love seat.
"Everyone ready?" Their mother's gently voice questioned. The was a murmur through the family of yeses and yeahs. "Alright, Sweetie?"
The father nodded and pressed play. A movie began to play and the family watched. They always had their movie nights, every Friday. The four of the kids loved these nights. Even though the oldest, Jude, was almost 18 he kept every Friday night free. Lila had at first dreaded giving up her Friday nights for her family, exspecially since she'd gotten her car. After missing a few movies, however, she missed them and stayed home. Nathaniel and Annabel loved these times together as well. By being the youngest and only a year apart, they were really close. They kept each other occupied while Jude and Lila were out and their homework was all done.
When the movie was done, they all retired to their rooms.
"Lie, keep it down!" Jude called down the hall, annoyed at his sister's loud laughing from something her boyfriend had just said over the phone.
"I'm not even loud!" She answered him, annoyance layering her voice.
Annabel look out her door and across the hall into Nathanial's room and caught his eye. They both smiled and rolled their eyes at the squabling of their siblings.
Soon, everything quieted down. Lights were out and a light snore could be heard coming from somewhere in the house.
Annabel rose slowly from her bed and tiptoed down the hall and down the stairs. As silent as a whisper, she reached the computer and turned it on. Once it was booted up, she logged on her AIM. She smiled to herself when she saw that his screenname was on.
Wanting
So many things are wrong in this world. Nothing seems to ever go right, so when it does it is a bessing. But there are those lucky ones who get everything they want...
I want to be one of the lucky ones. I don't want to have to worry or stess over money or the dealings of my parents. I want to accomplish someitnh in my life. I want to be who I am suppose to be and not be scared of what others think.
But these are things I want, which makes them secondary. The things that are essential have piority... and as much as I dislike that, I know that is the way it has to be...
I want to be one of the lucky ones. I don't want to have to worry or stess over money or the dealings of my parents. I want to accomplish someitnh in my life. I want to be who I am suppose to be and not be scared of what others think.
But these are things I want, which makes them secondary. The things that are essential have piority... and as much as I dislike that, I know that is the way it has to be...
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Blockage
I sit alone, my insides twisting. I have felt this way before, not so long ago. My heart is heavy, crumbling within me. And as it breaks, peices lodge inside me in places they shouldn't be... makeing movement painful. I need someone close to me... someone to hold me and peice back together the peices of my heart. I need to be rid of this choke sob that clenches at my throat, that won't leave no matter how many tears I shed or crys have escaped my lips.
I can't explain it, but my words help. I let them flow from me and it makes things easier... Writing has always helped me put my feelings in order and sort things out in my mind...
I can't explain it, but my words help. I let them flow from me and it makes things easier... Writing has always helped me put my feelings in order and sort things out in my mind...
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